A push to reset the world Posted On 4th June 2024 To Magazine & Stories
Film: ILFORD Delta 100 - Camera: Minolta X-370s - Cemitério dos Prazeres, Lisbon.
Hatching
The story of my involvement with film photography is also a story of rebirth. I was first born and raised in Brazil, in an arid and hot region known by the motto “land of light”, but I was then born again under my current name, Laura, just a few months before moving to Lisbon, Portugal. As any transgender person should know, having your new identity accepted by previous family members, acquaintances, can be an immense challenge. I had just let go of that and gone to a new place where there was only Laura, my true self. And I had decided that Laura’s life would be registered in film.
Film: ILFORD HP5 Plus - Camera: Zenit 122 - My first portrait in film by my wife.
A Language of Memory
Not long after landing and finding a place to live I bought my first camera. A very overpriced Zenit 122, with severe light leakage, along with a fresh roll of ILFORD HP5+. Those first pictures are not very good (and not every picture needs to be). I view photography as a language of memory - like writing, but film specifically (as opposed to digital) makes me want to write more stories.
Film: ILFORD FP4 Plus pushed to 250 - Camera: Lubitel 166U - rainy afternoon - Cais do Sodré, Lisbon.
Pliancy
To be an immigrant is to be, at least for a while, a bit like a child again. Mundane things capture your gaze more than the typical person, you get molded and changed by your new circumstances. I don't intend for this to be chronological, there is no need to go through every step of this story, the events until this point are, I believe, enough to define what I look for: film photography has been my tool to parse this new existence into my story.
Film: ILFORD Delta 400 - Camera: Minolta X-370s - An afternoon of forró.
Hooked By The Drama
My usual photography is on the street. My vision gets captured by strangers, movements of people (usually elderly people), old and frail architecture. It is probably a reflection of a personal fractured identity. I usually say that I’m hooked by the drama of everyday life. Scenarios that are fertile for imagination - my imagination at least. Being a newcomer certainly makes you see things in a more abstract light, a tourist in other people's reality, as Sonntag put it.
Film: ILFORD Delta 100 - Camera: Minolta X-370s with a Wide Angle 28mm Vivitar lens - Location: Cemitério dos Prazeres, Lisbon.
Film: ILFORD FP4 Plus - Camera: Yashica Mat 124G - Taxi driver resting in Estrela, Lisboa.
Sonntag
Speaking of Sonntag, I very much agree with the phrase “to photograph a thing is to appropriate the thing photographed”. I don’t particularly see myself in the view that street photography is a mere register of reality. To photograph is to disclose, and if anything the people in shots are unscripted, unwilling actors, so they’re best left undisturbed. Anonymity leaves space for imagination while, at the same time, respects the rights of the photographed to not have their likeness used.
Film: ILFORD HP5 Plus pushed to 800 - Camera: Minolta X-370s with a Wide Angle 28mm Vivitar lens - scene in the Lisbon metro.
Film: ILFORD Delta 400 - Camera: Minolta X-370s with a Wide Angle 28mm Vivitar lens - the flock.
(A) push to reset the world
The last few years felt like the world has been somehow reset. The post-pandemic in many ways does not feel the pre. My external world has been reset in many ways, and through photography I have reset my inner world. (A) push to reset the world is the title of my main focus of work lately. This project seeks to consolidate the vision of my personal transformation in the last two years or so.
Film: ILFORD HP5 Plus pushed to 800 - self-portrait in the Lisbon metro.
Film: ILFORD Delta 400 - Camera: Minolta X370s - lady smoking in Porto.
Rebirth
As I mentioned previously, I think of my story as being of rebirth and this rebirthed person is still shyly parsing the new life and habitat into this story. It would be fairly easy to see my reflection in my fellow country people. The way I see, I’m using the camera and the film to look for my reflection in the new people I come by.
Film: ILFORD XP2 Super - Camera: Yashica Mat 124G - In the shelter of the sun.
Images ©Laura Melo
About The Author
Laura Melo
Laura Melo (she/her) is a film photographer born in Fortaleza (Brazil) but based in Lisbon. Most of her work is focused in street photography, but she also has an interest in portraiture, editorials and authoral projects. Being an immigrant and a trans person, her main themes of interest are identity, marginalization, history and culture. She has taken digital photography as a hobby during the pandemic, but since moving to Lisbon in 2022, has shifted exclusively to film photography.
Instagram: @lauram_melo